This Just in: Larry King is Satan*

I'm waiting in an airport under the big CNN-o-vision, and Larry King is on. The guest is husband of a teacher who had sex with her 14-year-old student. Let's put aside how absurd it is that someone would go on a news program to talk openly about how his wife cheated on him with a 14-year-old so that we can get right to the matter.

How on earth does Larry King purport to be a newsman?

There are wars and genocides going on in the world. There are diseases to cure. We're landing exploring machines on other worlds. There is so much going on that is news. People's sick fascination with such trash is one thing, but dressing it up as news is absolutely immoral.

Can somebody please wake America up? We're turning into a culture of trash.

New rule: Being au courant doesn't count if your news source is anything on TV. Except The Daily Show with Jon Stewart cuz that shit's just funny.

*Larry King is Satan according to my personal belief system, and is probably not the real Lucifer, Judeo-Christian embodiment of pure evil.